First and Foremost, please know, before reading ahead that I am a Feminist. It defines me. It is who I am, who I want to be. I identify as feminist, more than I identify as a cisgender bisexual woman.
Yesterday, I was watching Silver Linings’ Playbook, not for the first time, but for the first time with a guy, my boyfriend. He had said he wanted to watch the movies that I watch and like.
The thing is that Rom-Coms are not even on the top of the list when it comes to what movies I would like to watch. For me, the way it goes is I do NOT watch horror movies because I will have to literally sleep with the lights on and look behind me every 3 seconds for three months straight every time I watch one. The last one I watched was The Invisible Man in March and by the end of June I had logged so little good sleep due to the lights being on all night and my eyes not getting any rest. I have no one to blame for that. As a feminist, I made myself watch it. I really am interested in and terrified of GASLIGHTING, which this movie promised to be. So, I had to watch it. Women issues come before sleeping.
Now that we have established what kind of horr-ible (P.S. I love word plays) movies I don’t watch, we will see what the process actually is for the ones I do watch.
I organize my to watch list, like I organize everything else. Based on Priority, haha.
What are my priorities you ask? good question!
I do not have a specific genre that I stick to, I mean if it comes to it, I will choose Indies over other movies. But my go to criteria is the subject matter, director, Rotten Tomato score, reviews, trailers, actors, my own mood, friends’ recommendations (not many people fit in this category, haha), availability of the movie.
So, I could basically watch anything as long as the subject matter appeals to me. My least favorite subject matter to this date as SNL put it: “White Male Rage”. So, it is a fair field, if you have a recommendation, come forward, I am always open to suggestions. But you only have one strike and you are out. So, thread carefully.
This all being said I have watched and still watch my fair share of romantic comedies, which I recently had an epiphany about, which brings us to the featured photo for this post.
The reason most women would rather watch rom-coms than any other genre (the second one being horror movies, I guess, based on consensus form my acquaintances), is that it is the only genre that has any interest in depicting a woman in any capacity. Up until recently there were no roles for women in life and in movies, if you wanted to see a woman you had to watch Family Man with Nicholas Cage as the lead actor to get a taste of what Tea Leoni was feeling as a woman. Even rom-coms were named after men, we are only here to support. So, of course I will jump at the idea of watching The Good Wife & Grey’s Anatomy, and stay clear of Breaking Bad (obvious reasoning here).
Horror comes second in female favorite genre as in it we are at least victims, we get some airtime of our own and that in itself is precious.
Men get offended usually, when I say I have no interest in watching their favorite series or movies, siting their high scores and reviews (as if most critics weren’t men talking about what men made about men! Irishman being case in point). But when I say that I watch only material made by women, for women about women they frown upon my extreme feminism as if they have not being doing the exact opposite all their lives!
Not only men only watch movies about men made by men, they call rom-coms sappy and feminine, in order to relinquish even the slightest responsibility to learn about women or watch them in action.
I don’t think there is any shame in watching rom-coms. The only reasoning that is used to make it to be inferior is that women are supposed to be of inferior importance so that anything about their worldview is intrinsically less valuable. It certainly is not. Calling them chick flicks and things that men are forced to watch on dates is also sexist. If we have to watch star wars to get in your good graces, that is worth 100 rom-coms at least that you need to watch to compensate for us losing brain cells watching star wars.
My solution to all this misogyny is watching Indie movies that are about people, women, men and children with a brand new attitude.
Last night, I watched Lynn and Lucy and it was glorious. Recommended.
End of Epiphany.
Share your thoughts.